As I looked at myself holding dumbbells that were 15-20 pounds lighter than I was using just a few weeks ago, I felt frustrated. Why did my stupid elbows have to start hurting a few weeks back! Why didn't I figure out sooner what was going on when the discomfort first set it! Why why why! Ugh!
The WHYs at this point didn't help. I stood there frustrated and mad. I watched my reflection as I did modified curls with 10 lb. dumbbells and all I could focus on was my lose skin as I flexed up...that skin is a huge red flag that I have lost muscle. Muscle that I worked so hard for. Muscle that I was so proud of. But, because I have now had to take many weeks off from working my arms...THIS is my reality.
Then, that voice in my head started...that voice I have worked to strengthen over the past 1.5 years. That voice of strength and determination and positivity. That voice said to me..."shut up and stop being a wuss!" (What...were you expecting some wise reasoning?!) It continued on..."you know, some people are physically unable to even pick up a dumbbell, let alone curl it, so why are you feeling sorry for yourself?!" I then looked back at my reflection with a different view. I focused on curling that dumbbell like it was the 25 or 30s that I was curling a few weeks ago, and as I curled it up...I felt pride. Pride that I was pushing through the slight discomfort. Pride that I showed up for Arm Day, not knowing if I could even do any exercises. Pride that I was able to do six exercises even if it was much lighter weight. I finished my workout with PRIDE.
Don't give up on yourself just because you might not be able to do today what you could do yesterday, a week ago or what you did in the high school weight room. You and your body and your spirit are in a different place today. Be where you are TODAY and embrace that and build on where you are TODAY.
Much Love~Paula.
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